No matter how many times I say it, I still get letters for Imus.  Here's a sample of a few dunderheads who thought they were writing to Don. Maybe he will see them after all.

This ones to me... but...

I was wondering if you knew what Imus' shoe size is. Thanks.

Jim Says: If you know what size Bernie's butt is, you can just measure it backwards. 

Francis writes:

     I can understand why Mrs. Imus would rather listen to the game than watch on t.v.  I wish you could shut up McCarver.  I never heard an anouncer talk so much....I guess he has to justify his existanche but we don't have to see every swing of the bat repayed and explained.  This is t.v., it doesn't matter if we have some quiet time.  If we want to know all the statistics he throws at us, we can look them up ourself.  Knowing that McCarver is your friend, but, I am sure that this is the reason why his wife would would rather have the t.v. off!!!  I hope the Mets win tonight, but, if they lose, I won't have to listen to McCarver again.

Your his friend, please tell him to shut up!

McCARVER...PLEASE SHUT UP...PLEASE SHUT UP....PLEASE SHUTP

Jim Says:  Mets should have won, McCarver should be gracefully sent to the old catchers home.

A anonymous writer types:

those utterances of gore are not lies.they are confabulations and are real to him this represents a thought process disorder called confabulatory neurosis,and could be a memory disorder.He should see a neurologist and a psych to find the cause of his problem He has no control over his problem and only discovers the confabulatoin in retrospect.good luck....

Jim Says: maybe after he loses in the election, he'll have time to seek proper treatment.

Kathleen writes: 

#ONE SELLER OF SALSAIN AZ IS GOLDWATERS AND IT IS DISGUSTING!! WHY, PRAY TELL, DON'T YOU SELL FRED'S SALSA IN AZ, PARTICULARLY IN SCOTTSDALE.  YOU WOULD MAKE A FORTUNE FOR THE RANCH OR TO PAY FOR YOUR MERCEDES 600???

Jim Says: I live in Kansas, it would be too long a commute.  By the way, are the 6 links to www.autobodyexpress.com on the site not enough?

G. Ricky writes:

Some 'stupid' woman you had on this morning's show from "Newsweek"(?) spilled out the 'usual' liberal, Democratic 'trast' I have come to 'expect' from your program! It seems to me you'd have the sense to at least have 'once in a blue moon' someone who isn't already 'slanted' in their opinions about George Bush; however, that'd take 'class' and 'using a little common sense,' which apparently you don't have much of; right?  We Republicans are accustomed to the 'liberal trash' they spill out, but it's 'sad' you all can't realize
'how silly' they sound!!!

Jim Says: 'Thanks'; great to 'hear' from 'you'.  P.S. 'trast' is not a word.

Dennis writes:

Great program Don....However watching the Imus show on MSNBC ..between the numerous commercials and Olympic breaks is like watching an incomplete ping pong match. Shame on MSNBC..along with Soledad And Lampley..Give us a break. Send them on a scenic tour in Iraq with Jack Welch.The Imus show along with Tim Russett and Brian Williams keeps this Network afloat....This message is for info only...no response necessary...but send a copy to Fred Imus ..maybe He can Help....Thanks   Dennis

Jim Says: I am sure Mr. Russett will appreciate the reference the next time he checks his "Q Score."   I think Fred's pull at MSNBC is limited to ... well.. none.

Daniel Writes:

As to where is George W: I tried to find out how to contact his staff by e-mail, failed. Maybe he should read the article in the 9/6/00 WSJ about Michael O'Leary, then talk to him.
O'Leary said, in part: "...you've got to be ready to fight...(fights) are good for the sole".

Jim Says: This may not be for Don, but for the cat who keeps talking to me abut the Chicago Fire.  How Daniel hears him, I'll never know. 

Arthur Writes:

How bout this time I talk and you listen. You might learn something for a change. Your show puts me back to sleep. It's al just blah blah blah!!!

Jim Says: I thought it was just Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. 

In response to an earlier Letter to Don posting, here's a letter to Jim:

Bob Says:

I couldn't help notice that 2 days after I sent my" Letter to Don" as you call it ,
that he told his listeners and viewers to be on the look out for IMUS RANCH
DRESSING. My suggestion was that he consider marketing such dressing to
help with the Ranch. I could give a shit about Paul Newman or your smart-ass
attempt to make light of a suggestion that obviously was taken seriously by Don
Imus. Your displaying the letter without the slightest idea that Imus had indeed announced his intention to
to market such a product leads me to believe that you spend the lion's share of your working day with
your head in your ass. I didn't expect credit for the idea but I didn't expect to be posted and ridiculed either.

Jim Says: I only spend 6 to 10am Eastern with my head up my ass.. it's hard to break a 20 year habit.  

From Buiel...

Why do you continue to grovel to those who are jelous of you.Quit whining and making us sick.Don`t change a damn thing

Jim Says: Well, he spelled Damn right. 

From Paul...

You have a commercial for a company called Inside Express, but infortunately, I couldn't write down its HTML address quickly enough. Could you send me their Web Page address. Thank you.

Jim Says: If I have a commercial, my billing department is way out of  shape.  Try this: www.yahoo.com.

From: Bob...

Don:
You have done quite well up til now without my advice BUT have you considered making you own Ranch Dressing? You obviously have a working relationship with a glass packaging concern with Freds salsa. Anyway it's easily made- call it IMUS RANCH and give the profits to the ranch. Just an idea. I enjoy your show.

Jim Says: Do we really want Fred making salad dressing?  But while we're on track, let's not forget to do popcorn, Spaghetti sauce and lemonade so Paul Newman can feel totally screwed.

From: MARGIE ....

I HAVE WATCHEDYOUFOR 3 YEARS HERE IN CALIFORNIA AND ALL YOU HAVE SAID IS GET A LIFE  WELL I HAVE NOT WATCHED YOU FOR 2 WEEKS BECAUSE YOU ARE SO FOR MCCAIN THAT YOU WON'T GIVE ANY OTHER MESSAAGE.  I HAVE NOW REALIZE THAT I HAVE MADE A GREAT MISTAKE WITH YOU.  OF COURSE, YOU DON'T WON'T TAX REDUCTIONS YOU HAVE THEM ALL  YOU ARE A HEREO  I AM A 49 YEAR OLD WOMAN AND HEAVEN FORBID I STILL HAVE A LIFE  I MEAN YOUR MARRIED TO A YOUND WOMAN AND YOU HAVE IT MADE.  DISREGARED ALL THE MISTAKES YOU MADE AT MY AGE BECAUSE YOU HAVE THIS ALL AND KNOWING BEING THAT HAS ALL THE ANSWERS.  YOU COULDN'T DEAL WITH A WOMAN YOUR OWN AGE. I RESENT YOU INSTEAD YOUR OWN KIND HAVE LEARNED BUT KNOW DEIDRE HAS ALL THE ANSWERS  I AM SICK OF YOU.  YOU DON'T WANT JOHN MCCAIN FOR WHAT HE REALLY STANDS F0R YOU WANT HIM BECAUSE YOU WAMT THE POWER.  WELL GUESS WHAT.  I DO HAVE A LIFE NOW AMD I DON;T NEED YOU.  BUT OF COURSE I AM 49 SO WHAT IN THE F*** DO YOU NEED ME FOR.  I HAVE FOUR BOYS AND IF I8 HAD YOUR MONEY THEY WOULD HAVE ALL THE BEMEFITS YOUR SON HAS.  YOUR ARE THE BIGGEST PHONEY I EVER BELIEVED IN./  YOU PROBABLY LOVETHIS FAX AMD GOOD BYE BECAUSE I HAVE GOTTEN A LIFE

Jim says:  Margie, first, it's a caps lock key.  Find it, learn it, use it.  Second, if you haven't been listening for two weeks, how do you know Imus has been talking about McCain?   Third, it's called e-mail, not a fax. That's with paper and stuff. 

From: d dicker... -

Thanks for you suuport of comrade McCain it has allowed me find This Old House Clasics and Norms Workshop.  Does McCain pay for all his appearances it got old see you.

Jim says:  Hey DICKerson.  It's ClasSics, Norm's and suPPort.  Mr. McCain has my endorsement too, for no charge.

From: J.KEVIN.....

Mr.IMAN PLEASE HAMMER THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT Mc Cain needs you & so do we(east coast not Those SC or VA Religious Aholes) I expect nothing less than you beinn piss offed at,(Pat & his cronies) at WAR with them, attack him where it hurts! Your not a wimp!Well you are 65..isn'nt that what what's his mouth said on CNN?!

Jim Says:  Imus was born in 1940.. that makes him 60 in July.  I'll leave the rest tor the highly trained code breakers from the NSA to figure out what you said.

From: Randy

  Mr Imus,
  Thank you for having that morning show that is broadcast on cnbc every morning!   I will eat my breakfast to that show and just laugh  and
feel how lucky I am to be able to take a shower dry my hair get ready for work and know that when I get in my car that it is "HOWARD TIME"
You know that he kicks your Ass everyday where are you coming up with these ratings you say you are getting?  If you are such a tough guy I would like
to see you and Howard go head to head in a debate of some sort, (it was easy to kick him down in his early stages now you know that you do not stand a chance
against him).  If you challenge him you know he would do it, so you won't. That is what I respect about Howard he will not back down to anyone!  HE RULES!!!
LATER LOSER 

Jim Says: Randy... it's MSNBC not CNBC.  Imus' ratings may not be bigger but I'll bet his paycheck and his penis are.  By the way, What's named after Howard in New Jersey?  A Rest Area. Wow prestigious.